To strip or not to strip?

My mind is running a mile a minute. I have started a new project yesterday and have not been able to stop for more than 30 minutes every few hours. I didn't sleep until 2 AM and woke up at 10AM to find myself back into the loop of it again. I was a little down because it wasn't picking up speed (which is ridiculous since it has been about 24 hours since I started) but then I got a nice surprise that makes me think that I will be able to make this new project work!

This blog is just for me, as it should be, but I keep checking things as if it is meant for others....I need to stop. it doesn't matter who or how many people see this but I can't shake the need to check everything 20 times.

Maybe I should strip.....strip of all the pretty and promise of this site so its just me and my words. I suppose even less people show up but you never know. I don't think I will strip today but I suppose I will soon. Especially if I keep obsessing as I do. I get lost in my projects that people outside of it are usually neglected.

Neglected....that's the word that my boyfriend used to describe himself in our relationship. At this moment, I have him on the phone which is strategically placed on my shoulder so I can hear and talk to him whilst I type. I usually can't work with others because if things are not just the way I want them, I lose interest.

My mom has interrupted my train of thought and now I am listening to John Mayer - Your body is a wonderland on Last.fm which is just making me feel nostalgic about the beginning of my relationship. I do feel better though, not all zany crazily obsessed of my new project. I do want to check things but I think I'll take a break and watch a movie or something. I need to eat...is obsession all that bad?

I leave you with this list
http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html

and this book that I really want to read just because of the title.....mmmm Gavin DeGraw - I don't want to be....gotta love it.

....still obsessing

Don't worry....my posts will not be so frequent. I am just thinking about this so much because it is the beginning and I think "too much" so obviously I want to write it down.

As you may have noticed, I have a lot of ads up on the blog....this is a force of habit. I am a recovering Internet Marketer and Promoter. ( I Capitalize because they are titles ) Whenever I start something that I purely enjoy doing, I muck it up by asking the question "How can I make money off of it?"

That is when Google Ads and affiliate links find their way into my creative and peaceful projects. I am someone who always has multiple and creative projects that I never finish. Very easily distracted.....like now, I am video skyping with my too-good-to-be-true boyfriend of more years than you would expect. I lost my train on thought.

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Oh yeah, so since I have bills piling up and have this annoying social anxiety/depression/laziness to get my butt off the couch I find it hard to fight off the urge to try to make some kind of income online. I was an internet marketer when I was younger because my parents didn't want me to work  but I found a way and was getting pretty good at it. I had a mentor with whom I still talk to and he says that I should come back to it but its an awful load to take on....first the investment money, then the energy and time required to set it up, its exhausting.

As you can see, I tend to get very easily obsessed with things but I have some resentment about internet marketing because it took so much from me and right when I was getting so good, I had to quit. I regret that very much. I might have a stable passive income still coming in. I get about $20 every 3 months from a company still.

I need to learn how to stick to things....I need to be disciplined but I just don't know how.